Something had happened to me ...
It took me by surprise, but
I couldnt tell anyone .
Even if they force me to .
No one should no .
I'm happy though .
But confused ...
And ... this thing is ...
unaccepted .
It feels ... so wrong yet so right .
Like I can;t see my future like this but .
I guess it happened .
You look perfect just sitting there ,
dont stop ... I love your smile .
Its just so wrong .... I cant help it .
Yet feels so right when I'm there .
OH WTF .
Had counslling from my friend ... she's in counselling club .
She told me that I can't escape and I must face it .
Although how hard is it .
GOSH I wanna escape but I cant.
The thoughts make me sick to the stomach .
I cant help it .
Its the same feeling but ... its a different case now .
At least someone's happy on Friday :)
For now , I do not want to let anyone know what it happening.
Scared of being judged .
I'm ashamed of it ... and no one should know .
I wanna keep it to myself .....
I dont wanna talk about it to someone ....
I'm scared .
