yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

today damn high....



anyway ...

yesterday the vday gift in the desk thing was a failure

LOL

so I just asked Joey to give it to her .

It's anonymous anyway

haha

and I wrote it in cursive

>:)

unless she knows my words really well ....

o.O

hope not though lol

So after school Joey asked her to stay

and I didn't really dare to look

cuz I scared it'll be obvious

so I just started walking around pretending

shit ain't happening .

And I glimpsed at them .

She was sitting on the table reading my green letter

and at that moment I'm like

HOLY SHIT SHE'S READING MY LETTER.

then I ran outside,

got really hgh and at the same time panicking,

talk to some random people I do not know.

and she was holding the sticky ...

and I'm like

HOLY SHIT SHE'S HOLDING IT .

I'm about to pee out of nervousness

-.-

what the hell, bladder

then I left early.

I scared it'll be obvious .

So in the green letter I wrote

HAPY GREEN VALENTINES DAY

of course,

and a poem and some pick up lines

that are actually flattering

and genuinely suits her

hahahaahahaha

LOL

then I went to find Joey,

preparing myself for the bad news .

But surprisingly,

it's good news.

Joey said she was smiling while reading it,

like kinda happy I guess ...

LOL

I'm glad she liked it

:))

but maybe she's happy cuz she thought someone else

gave her,

maybe she wont be happy when she found out

it was me ... ?

:( 

sigghhh I dunno

:)

Didnt talk to her today ...

:(

going to do it tmr anyway

MUST DO IT .

heeeeeeyyy,

she complimented me on my beatboxing

:)))

hahaha

well

if she agrees to go out with me

during the holidays

I'll juz tell her .

By showing her the receipt of sticky

(with the price scraped out)

and say

"hmmm, does this looks familiar ??"

HAHAHAHAHAH

dayummmm

and if i can't talk

cuz I'm scared

juz hand a letter to her .

If I fail ... then

fail la ...

be friends :)

but hope for the best .

Sometimes I think it's me,

sometimes I dont think it is .

hahaha

I bet she'll be asking around about the letter and

the sticky

HAHAHAHHAHA

well she'll soon find out .

THANKS JOEY :)))

<3

Happy Green Valentines Day ~

14/08/2012

- a day to remember -

Be my Valentine :)

:x

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

dunno why damn happy today

-.-

anyway ....

went back to school today,

played 1 on 1 basketball with Henry .

He lost to me .

HAH.

Then I told him.

Not about Star .

About me .

I went like:

"Since you are one of my close friends, I have to tell you this ...

Don't freak out but I wanna let you know that ....

I stopped liking guys."

And he was calm and shocked and went

what ?! why ?? noooooo ~~

But at least he was supportive about it .

He's my bro ;)

Well ...

I was hyper till star came .

then i'm like ohshitohshit ..

Be cool ....

and she was sitting next to shi min .

no one at her other side .

Okayy, since Joey was 'busy',

I'll muster up my courage and talk to her :)

I walked AROUND the big big stool -.-

and sat next to her and went 

'Heyy ~~~~'

Gosh I was freaking out inside .

Confusing part :

She was sitting at the edge of the sit

(basketball court audience sit),

when I went up and sat beside her,

my back was completely touching the end of the sit,

its quite inside.

After I sat there,

she also mimick how i sat 

OF COURSE I'M HAPPY HAHAHA

then while chatting,

my other friend who plays volleyball came up and sat beside me

and talked to me

then star went to face the other way .

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!

I have a chance and its ruined !

But I did talk to her...

AUTOMATICALLY

HAH !

:P

(kinda dissapointed cuz I was hoping 

she could see me play basketball)

Moving on ~

Then we all went up to our classroom .

I came in before her and chose a sit .

Shi min sit quite in front.

Star could have sat behind her 

or beside.

But she sat in front of me .

And once she sat,

she turned facing me.

As in like .. hoping I would talk ?

Course I did :))

I asked her out tmr,

but she said can't cuz she has to attend a party at night

:(

Then I said okay maybe next week 

:) yaaayyyy next week ~~~~

then ... awkward silence ...

But then she gone cold ...

this makes me confused ...

one second she's talking happily,

the next she's quiet like she's not interested

dafuq man D:

Joey told me when we went outside to beatbox ..

LOL i know ..

when we laughed crazily,

Star looked at me ..

i know cuz i also saw 

:)

The truth is ...

I did caught her looking in my way 

a few times ...

but,

I dunno 

><

YAAAAAY SHE'S TEACHING ME 

MATH ON MONDAY !!!

Then we went Mid Valley after that :))

 Planning to give her an anonymous Vday gift 

:))

After asking around,

I decided to get her Stickt 

from the 'Lover's corner'

HAHA

She likes sour stuff ...

I've tried,

the candy is sour !

:))

Perfect 

Now I just have to find a way

to give it to her .

Without her knowing :)

Then Joey and I went to borrow money from Henry xD

Cuz we have not enough.

He ask to meet at Baskin Robins .

HOLY SHIT SHE WAS THERE .

My face went ohshitohshitohshit .

Then you know we about to go 

then i make my usual

'Dont miss me'

quote to her

and almost tripped while walking down to gap

-.-

I was shaking .

Then we purposely walk past Br many times xD

And yes,

I made a stupid, lame,

random ... lame thing ...

By saying something that dosent make sense to her

and still think its funny .

That was stupid ...

According to Joey ..

OMG .

wonder what she'll think .

Oh yahh ...

She looked pretty 

:)

Well ...

Ddidnt go for tuition .

:((

I hope August 14th will be good 

:))

Hope everything will come true haha

lets hope ..

Stuff like this don't happen to me 

x(

I know I may not be good looking or

charismatic

but believe me ...

My heart is seriously ..

real . 

:)

Purple Valentines,

Be good to me !

<3

sighh .

I only have 1 pic with her ,

hope there'll be more !!

Me gusta !

And I hope,

that I'm not receiving the wrong signals,

hope that she's really interested 

:))

Just hope for the best ! 

:D

WISH ME LUCK !!

<3

Cupid just shot me

Today is a happy day !!!

:))

I finally mustered up my courage,

thought to myself

'ahh fuq this shit'

and went to talk to her .

:)))))))))))

YAY.

I'm not so scared to approach her anymoreeeeeee

Well ....

actually,

I'm not so sure how she sees me as.

Maybe just a friend ?

The weird part is ...

I did caught her looking at me several times

usually the most is

during recess, in the morning or when

we stood up to greet teacher and stuff like that .

During bio period I switched place with Tristan.

Idk why, I just did

o.O

Then when teacher came in, I stood up

and just casually and randomly

turned around .

She sits behind ,

and was still sitting down when I turned

and she was looking at me .

I'm pretty sure,

cuz we weren't that far apart and

I was standing up so in order to look at me

she has to look a little up .

And she was .

And she wasn't like notice me for a second after I turned .

She was already looking when I caught her eye .

Which was a little weird ?

:)

But I panicked .

LOL .........................

......................................

Okayy so it all started in the comp room .

There wasn't any more place to sit ..

so the only place is in front of Yuan ..

which is beside Star :)

And I only wanted to check my marks ...

when teacher switched the comp program to her controllable

system thingy ...

and the whole time I was like NOOOOOOOOOOO.

And we were studying chemistry .

I didnt wanna listen to teacher so I turned my chair to Yuan's direction .

But her comp is blocking directly in front

so I have to move a little to the left .

Star was on my left

and was talking to the person behind her .

BUT the moment she saw me ,

she kinda move a little bit outside ?

So we're really near

and I'm nervous .

Then Yuan decided to ask her a chem question.

And when she was explaining ...

Our face was like damn close

O.O

cuz I can't hear a single thing .

LMAO.
and the whole time I couldnt focus ..
1: I'm so nervous
2: She has a nice smell :)

Then I just took my chance and bravely asked her a question

I don't understand .

oh wait. ....

2 QUESTIONS

>:)

and a chem joke

:DD

And I made her laugh by ......

when going back to the classroom ,

I wanted to see if D class has teacher

so I stood outside for a moment .

When I was about to go in,

she came ..

So I just jokingly gestured for her to enter 1st

in a poshy way saying 'please enter'

and she smiled,

there's a gap behind me ..

and I tripped on it a little and went WHOA .

and looked at her like 'nothing happened' face

THAT'S when she laughed

:)))

And after school dismiss,
I tried to act casual
when she was leaving I called out to her
and asked her if she did well in her chem quiz .
:))
Baby steps right ?
Well,
I'll try harder
>:)

Well, for IU day,

we're planning to go down to give the audience flowers

and I asked her to come .

I didnt mention flowers though

I reserved the front row for her .

I told her that .

The flower giving plan was cancelled

but Li Sha didn't cancel it

cuz she knows its a chance for me

and she knows my plan.

My plan is to give Star the flowers

as in she's the 'audience' .

Then Li Sha have an idea .

She said what if I give Star the flowers,

that contains a letter inside .

Its not a bad idea but ...

I just dont wanna let her know yet

:((

Its too soon .

I need more time .

But I'll still put a letter inside .

Just dont let her know

:)

I'm not sure if

all her actions are just my illusions .

Because when u like someone,

you notice what they do every second .

So I think she's just treating me as a normal friend .

I just think too much .

:)

Still not sure if I wanna tell her or not ..

:(

Li Sha told me to go for it

and take a chance .

But .....

Should I?

hahaha

well ...

Let me build a friendship 1st

:))

The thing is ...

I TALKED TO HER ~~~~~~~~

YAAAAAAAY



I got you on my mind

Whoaaaa okayy these few days have been crazy ...

Results are back haha

and the only subject I'm higher than her is

P.E.
Got an A for it 

=.= 

which is useless ...

Well ... the thing is that

I'm having mixed signals ...

I mean I'm not sure but when once u like someone

All you do is notice them .

Oh and Becca was being too obvious ...

THANKYOU, BECCA ...

Friday was P.E.

Last Friday blew my chance so I was determined to talk to her .

Friday is her duty to sweep the floor.

Last week, I offered to help her sweep my place..

and I did .

But this time, I'm scared cuz when she was near,

Becca went:

"Oh, she's wearing a Swatch !!!"

Which was, yes, LOUD indeed .

I'm not sure whether she heard or not cuz when I offered

to help again,

she's like :

"Its okay I'll do it .."

Well, she did hesitate but still ...

her face changed a little ??

That's why now I'm scared .

:/

Okay so P.E.,

her friend wasn't there,

so she gets to stand next to me :)

I didn't know until she bumped me and said hi

:)

Then I made a joke about how my pants was falling off

when jumping rope,

so next time I have to wear it above my waist .

She laughed 

:3

sighhhh but still ...

/.\

Okay my observations !

I caught her stealing glances from me these few days ..

before Becca got obvious too.

Like recess, I'll be glancing at her

and sometimes she caught my eye,

then I got red in the face

=3=

Whaatt ..

Weird part is that her friend,

Valerie also looked at me,

as in noticing

:/

holy crap .

So there was one time Reika went into our class,

and she sat behind Star :)

So I went to talk to Reika,

I sat at the table near Star's

but Star was sitting the other side.

Valerie was sitting next to the table I was sitting .

And I wanted to show Reika my bio 'banana' mistake

cuz its funny . 

Then when I was walking I heard Star said

"change place, change place !"

and she ended up sitting at the place next to the table

I was 'casually' sitting on .

So its like I'm sitting diagonally behind her.

Which was really close.

She did turn a few times when I was talking to Reika .

At last, I showed her my

'banana' mistake too ...

LMAO 

:3

Then today sejarah ...

I went out to add marks ...

she stood beside me 

but then again,

as usual ...

stupid me is too scared to even spit out a 'hi'

I talked to Amanda instead .

Nice move ...

=3=

Well I caught her glance again on recess

TEEHEE .

Anyway, after school,

I talked to su shyuan about Star to geth to know her .

I told her its really hard to chase Star.

Then she told me that last year, Star was chasing her ex

instead of the other way round.

The way they got together was that Star's friend told her ex,

then her ex confessed to Star ...

The thing is that ..

Su Shyuan said this tip might work,

its like show Star that I'm a nice and caring person,

act normal and try to talk to her ...

well ...

I'M SCARED !!

I have a few more months to go ,

And I'm determined to do it .

I hoep I can though

chances are 80% I might fail

LOL

but worth a try :))

I dont give up that fast .

Don't be scared

ASKGFDSLKJHGFA

I LOOKED UP 'UPSIDE-DOWN' TODAY

AND I DIDNT KNOW SHE WAS RIGHT BEHIND ME

AND MY HEAD BUMPED INTO HER.

But she was talking to teacher ...

and I went ohshit and panicked

and ... pretend to act normal

by flipping open a book.

what D:

And she came over to talk to the girl in front of me

cuz they were kinda talking about something important

and she cant hear ...

And my heart went ooihnyfrdvh

and I again ...

pretend to flip open a book

-.-

And when teacher asked me to give back the papers ,

I got hers .. and her row .

and she wasn't there .

they went to the toilet .

FUUUUUUU-

WHERE'S MY CHANCE ???!!!

well ,

I dont care,

I'm just gonna march up to her tomorrow,

and start a conversation .

I have to .

HAVE .

during P.E.

MUST.

I'll never have to lose

 Haizz ...

Wen to Pavillion today with my friend and some of  her friends too .

I've just met them, they graduated last year .

They're both Tb 

O.O

They taught me something too hahah

Anyway,

just a little dissapointed 

cuz I was hoping to bump into her .

Oh well ....

From what I've heard,

her expectations are very high ...

her previous gf was

a really really boyish tb,

very good looking and of course

good grades ...

Not to say I'm good looking but

I mean I'm not ,

I look like shit .

But I just need a good grade .

I NEED it .

I'm dumb and stupid as fuck 

-.-

I'm from jr3I,

that was the best class ever

but being in a front class this year ...

I feel like the dumbest .

Well ,

let's hope for the best

:)

I know I dont stand a chance so ...

Just let me be happy 

being in my dreams .

ASAFGHJKLKSDFGHJ

SHE UPLOADED A NEW PIC BTW .

Put your heart up

So ... I dont know what to say ..

:)

I have no idea have I been too obvious these days or not .

okay so I always stay back at the resource center everyday to study .

And I always wish that she would be there xD

My wish came true on Wednesday .

I just randomly came down the stairs and into the room when I saw her.

And we said hi in surprise .

I sat with Dominick, Dexter and Shu Thai .

Of course !

Joey was upstairs ,

so I ran up and I'm like shitshitshit she's here .

and Joey's like GO DOWN NOW .

and left me downstairs .

And at last she's like you must be really happy huh

xD

okay its a long story .

Cuz Becca and I were talking about this thing one day .

And Joey accidentally listened and she's like

sorry sorry sorry I didn't mean to listen !!

but she asked me who it was anyway .

After exam on Tuesday we went to the toilet and she asked me .

On the way, actually.

She's like TELL ME !!
and I said yeahh wait later .

she:"whyy ??? :D"

me:"Because of some reason"

she:"who's that person ?? *nudge nudge*"

okay the reason I didnt wanna say it cuz she was behind me .

And Joey was like so freaking loud .

Her reaction wasn't so bad when she found out though.

She was normal .

But in the exam hall she was like Hey Beatrice,

and she turned to her left .

LOL . -.-

I lost my image everytime she's around ..

Its either I'm playing crazily or screaming .

It's always these two . -.-

1st, I was at the staircase playing 'fighting' with Joey

and she walked past .

2nd, Joey bodygloved me and I chased her and

wrestled her and she was there too .

WHAAATT .

D:

Anyway ...... she stayed back on Thurs too .

Okay this time was really idk ... nervous ?

Because Dexter sat at her place and he asked me for phy tips

I copied down .

So I went over to give him . And she was looking at me .

I was standing up, she was sitting so in order to look at her,

I had to look down.

Whilst I gave him, quickly glanced at her .

Oh shit she was looking and I kinda looked into her eyes ?

for 2 secs

O__O 

I wasnt expecting her to be looking so I got really red in the face

and stumbled away .

VERY NICE WORK, BEATRICE,

THERE'S A PAT ON THE BACK FOR YOU .

now go get a cookie and fuck yourself up .

AGAIN .

So as usual, I talk to Dom,

not daring to look at her ...

and suddenly she asked:

"Hey Beatrice, what time u went hom yesterday ?"

me:"Oh . 5 ."

Her:"ohh .. how ??"

me:"I walked home . *sheepish smile*"

her:"wow why so late ??"

me:"Idk I like studying here... I cant study at home cuz all I do is

plop on the couch and snore haha . "

her:"ohh hahaha . well, do u understand physics ?"

At this point, she came over asdfghllj;lksd

she asked me a question frm a book and ... I noticed

she has this nice, strong lavender smell .

O.O I'm such a creeper .

Anyway, nervous part,

she was bending down and I look at the question and

our face was like so close

I swear my heart is gonna be everywhere .

Worst part is that she's asking me a question

about forces in equilibrium .

My worst one ...

me:" urmm ... I'll tr to solve it juz let me study it for a while"

her:"okayy thanks ! :)"

And I got really hardworking.

HAHAHAHA

I was planning that if I found the answer,

I wanna sit across her and teach her .

I got pissed off just searching for the answer till I found it ...

Just use the ruler to measure it .... -.-

Until I came down from researching the book ,

she was already packing up her stuff and carrying her bag

and my mind went

NONONONONONONONONONONO :'(

but I told her the answer anyway and her face went WTH that simple ?

same as mine HAHA

........ yeahh ...

and there she went .

And at night I texted her that if she still dont understand physics

I can teach her ...

and if she wanna ask me anything simple then go ahead

cuz I aint gon be sleeping till 3 .

and then we chatted for a while .

I asked her to embrace her inner panda during exam

:P

yeah I know, I'm lame :(

I'm always like this lame around someone I fancy

:(

BLAHBLAHBLAH THEN I GOT DISSAPOINTED

because I was suppose to teach her in school

but I didnt . why ??

BECAUSE I'M A FUCKING COWARD .

yes. I dont even dare to approach her !!!

OMG.

:'((

Okay yesterday, after exam,

I hung out a little in class ..

and Ni Ting was there ,

and she's not going back till 1.30

So i hung out with her,

in scC with the rest of their friends .

She was outside lookg at the scenery

and chatting with her close friend .

there were 5 ppl in class,

Me, Ni Ting, Shi Min, Valerie and Jia Yin .

They were talking about poop

HAHAHAHA

Then in the class while hanging out halfway,

I sorta lie down on the table.

and Her head poked in suddenly...

and she chatted with Valerie for a while,

and there's this conversation where I

kept thinking about it

Valerie went :"哦 你去陪他/她啦。。

因为我们全部都有别人了，只有你 Forever Alone. "

and She sweared at her xD

and went out of the class .

HAHAH

the type I would do if someone is being too obvious

in front of the person I like ?

o.O

Idk it just felt weird.

I didnt dare to look. and now,

I'm still wondering who the person was

she was reffering to ...

But ... you know,

I wouldnt think that ...

I just hope .

That's what I do in life people,

I only dream.

Cuz good thinkg will never happen to me

:)

Only to everyone,

But me .

She uploaded a new picture

ASDFGHJKLKJHGFDSA

I died a little .

And my heart skipped a beat .

I'm sorry .

AHAHA.

and I found her blog .

I SOUND CREEPY OMG .

okokokokok confessions .

Truth be told ...

I recently upload pictures ...

Just to hope that she could see it ....

:/

she did ... and she liked it .

:))

:))

:))

:))

:))

I'm retarded .

hahahaha .

During dinner I was thinking about P.E. next week,

about how we have to fucking skip rope -.-

My worst nightmare, and I realize ...

in ji dui,

I think she stands next to me ..

well, prolly not next but ...

VERY CLOSE .

its either her or her friend. I forgot .

but its one of them .

then I got excited I swear I'm gonna pee .

HEEHEEHEE

I'm smiling like crazy shit right now .

:)

:3

kthanksbaii .

:)

<3